Monday, January 2, 2012

Wings and Hearts

Once every Mars year (686 Earth days) all the winged living beings of the Solar System are invited for a free wing check-up and a SPA treatment. This complimentary indulgence is a generous gesture on behalf of the Central Interplanetary Wing Maintenance Committee.
This year the CIWMC had to be particularly careful with the invitations, having learned the lesson from the infamous misuderstanding last time when, by a clumsy bureaucratic mistake, five Boeing airplanes were invited to this medicinal and recreational gathering, four of which turned up, and were consequently sent away with a letter of official apology and an appendix (named ‘FYI’) specifying that the treatment in question strongly relies on the neural response of the patient, which is essential within the context of the method applied.
Quoting the 'FYI': 'It is unlikely that an inanimate object would gain much from such a procedure.'
This time the committee has committed to prevent any unpleasantness of the kind they caused and experienced last time, which is best illustrated by the three complaint letters from three of the four aircrafts who attended the event in vain.
All three claimed their three hearts had been broken thrice by 1) the fatal refusal, 2) the patronizing official apology letter following it, and 3) the appendix named ‘FYI’.
There was never a letter from the fourth plane. Its heart had stopped.
The fifth aircraft didn't have a heart. At all. Or it was never found anyway.Says the official statement from the CIWMC.